dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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