I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
