All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize