My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize