Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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