This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
