If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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