Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
