I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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