so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
