Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The convent might be a nice break from real life