I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.