She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.