It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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