Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
