i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.