apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics