I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
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I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.