She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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