I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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