I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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