No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.