I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.