Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"