If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
