I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize