I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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