she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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