Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?