Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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