u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.