You can't special order awesome
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now