she was so not down for the gang bang
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?