If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
