i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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