Ambien. No doubt about it.
Your dad touched me again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
