Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize