so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
