I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
