I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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