I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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