the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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