and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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