I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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