The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
