i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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