I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
