I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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