"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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