pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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