You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago