grandma shit on top of the toilet
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me