I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
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Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.