I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Too much gin, very little bucket
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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