There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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