dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it