I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning