Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.