She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
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Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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