smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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