OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
