Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize