Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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